


Regrets

by ClarissaIsStupid



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-17
Updated: 2013-11-17
Packaged: 2018-01-01 20:49:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1048420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClarissaIsStupid/pseuds/ClarissaIsStupid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Today, he is going to end it all." - Alec had enough of the break-up. What happens when he meant, he is going to end it all? A one-shot. (This is after City of Lost Souls, Page 515 to 520.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if I have done a somewhat good job at this story to let you guys feel the emotion there. Sorry for the lack of conversation.
> 
> Enjoy.

It has been months since the break-up. As much as he hates it, it is over. What else can he do? He drowns himself in Maryse's alcohol from the kitchen. His eyes became lifeless, not a single emotion in it. Today, he is going to end it all.

He walks out of his room to the kitchen, drink a cup of fine red wine then to the training room. He straps himself in seraph blades and his bow and arrows. He then leaves the house, using his sensor to track demons lucking in the alley or anywhere. When he finds his target, he loads up his bow, pull back the string so that his hand touches his cheek and let the arrow fly gracefully in a straight line to land on its designated target.

 

* * *

 

It is soon-to-be dinner time and Alec has not come out of his room at all. Jace feels pain and lifeless through his parabatai rune, therefore, he quickly walk to Alec's room and knock on the door. There was no reply. Feeling worried and concern, he push the door open to find the room empty of Alec. There was letters laid out on the table and being his curious self, he scan through all of it and who it was address to. There was one for each of the family, Clary, Simon, Jorden, Maia and Magnus. He gathers them all and quickly call the rest of the group to come over to the institute.

 

* * *

 

This is it. The end. His breath came out in shallow ones, leaning against the wall opposite of the greater demon, he close his eyes. His body is covered in blood, from the demons and his own. He thought of his family, of his closest friends and Magnus. Magnus. His first everything. His first love, first kiss. He smiles at the fond memories. He thinks of his own life, how much it has change when he first met Magnus. Hey, another first. He thinks of his family, the ups and downs. His friends, how he hated Clary at first. But, he grows on her after finding out that he loves Magnus and not Jace. He smiles at them all, enjoying the very last moment of his life.

But, that one mistake. One mistake of meeting Camille. One damn mistake and it all shatters. His world broke. He tries to come up for air, to move on and forget it. He could not. He could not move on, could not forget him. He still loves him. His life is over and what is the point in carrying on? His father, very own blood father, hates him. His mother looks down on him. His siblings, always the popular one, the straight ones. All he does is to protect them, also known as 'the shadowhunter who never kill a demon before'. He might as well end it, right?

The demon inch closer and finally, as Alec grabs on to his memories, the demon make a quick stabs to his heart. Quick and easy, the way he loves it. He whispers his final two words, 'I'm sorry.' And fall to the group with an audible 'thud'.

 

* * *

 

At the institute, everyone gathers around the coffee table and take their own letter. They read it and a few tears came out. Jace finish reading his when everything goes blank. He could not hear, could not see or anything. It was like everything was cut off from him. Clary notice what happen to him and quickly ask him if he was alright. When she receive no response, she panicked. Something flash brightly at his collarbone. She pull down his shirt a little to find the parabatai rune fading to just a scar. Alec. Clary informs the group about the rune.

Jace regain his senses and touch his collarbone, where the parabatai rune is. He looks at it, seeing it fade into a scar. He jumps up quickly. No. No. No, this could not happen. Why? Stupid Alec! Why? He went to Alec room and grab one of his black t-shirt. He trace a tracking rune on it and tell the group where he is.

They found him in the alley where he fought. A body, laying on the ground, a pool of blood surrounding it. Jace, Izzy and Magnus rush forward. Izzy kneel down and place her shaking fingers on her brother's wrist to find nothing. There was no pulse. He was… dare she say it, gone. Her only brother gone. She lean on her brother's chest and cried. Not caring of the blood. The toughest girl shadowhunter broke down in front of her friends but she did not care. She wants her brother back! She regret that she did not listen to her brother and always get in trouble and he was there to safe her. She regret not taking better care of him. She regret many things, but most of all she regret telling him, 'I love you'.

Jace knelt down beside his parabatai, his brother, his family. He wants him to open his eyes, telling them that he is okay and that this is all just a dream. But, not anymore. He wants to go back to the young times where they would have so much fun in the institute. He regret getting in trouble all the time. He regret not listening to his brother. He wants to show how much he cares and love him. But, he is gone. He is forever gone. He let the tears fall freely, not caring about anything else in the world but for his brother to return to them.

Magnus looks to his favourite boy. Not a boy toy but an actual boy. His one and only true lover. The one where he does not have a one night stand with. He miss the blue eyes where you could stare at all day and not get tired of. He miss the beautiful blush that would spread across the shadowhunter's cheek. He wants to see them again, but he can't. It is gone. He cries hard. He does not care for his make-up or appearance or anything. Just for Alec to return to him. He wants to say that he is sorry. He regret not telling him that he has forgiven him and want him to return back to him. He regret that, he regret all.

Clary and Maia let their tears fall. Although they were not close to Alec, they treat him like their brother. Their role model. Simon and Jorden wrap their arms around Clary and Maia respectively as they rub soothing circles in their backs.

 

* * *

 

His body was burn but his tombstone was place beside Max. His tombstone engrave:

Alexander 'Alec' Gideon Lightwood

1989 – 2007

Loving Son, Boyfriend, Brother & Parabatai

Everyone shed tears that day, what they did not notice is the angel standing behind them, his black hair covering his blue eyes. He looks out for all his love ones, protecting them and making sure that no one is in danger.

**Author's Note:**

> That's all. Hope you felt the emotion there. (I've tried.) Sorry for the mistakes and spelling. There might be a chance that I will write what Alec has written for all of his closest friends, lover and family members. Comment if you want me to write out the letters. Bad or Good Comments are greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.


End file.
